Being a believer and still suffering from anxiety…

“Mathew 6:25 –Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes . Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, AND YET your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying, add a single hour to your life?”

Hahaha WELL, i can wish that i can take some time off…or i can wish that i were dead sometimes, it’d sure take a lot off.

I’m just really dealing with emptiness, and in this emptiness, i realize its a lot of time that my values are shallow.. I’ve been thinking about my values. Not what i think they should be.. not what i want them to be but just gods values for me,

The worst thing someone could tell someone else that’s worrying; don’t worry.. unless you know something that i don’t , THEN GO AHEAD.

So i was watching a football game the other day with someone and it had been recorded until we could catch up. And they had checked the score. .and we were cheering for the same team. So while i was watching the game, i was also watching them. So when it got a little scary and they didn’t look scared, I didn’t look scared.

So when Jesus says “don’t worry”, he already sees how this shit is gonna work out, I should start to believe in this. This might be the only reference that i have but it made since..I mean, does Bama ever lose?

I’m not trying to preach church but i feel grateful that the one who knows the end from the beginning is already proficient to this current moment, it declares that HE. Is faithful is making me better.

If I’m worrying, I should start worrying about things worth worrying about.. like teen/ children suicide, racism.. things that are tough to seek change..

It’s time to turn it around. The question is, Why do i worry?

Stress> worry> anxiety> lack of sleep…then come the emotional neglect you go through. Do other people go through this? Lately, I’ve felt like nothing but alone.. but time to make a change and i know I can’t do it by myself.

And i keep asking myself..Why do I actually worry about things I currently cant change?

The reason that i worry and being really honest about it ..its not about what is happening to me, its about what’s in me that is strong enough to handle what happens to me..

But what is it that had me up at 3:30 this morning.. my mind just starts spinning.. and spinning.

Ill end with this..

Take no thought.

A thought that presents itself to you, can start you spinning in a direction if you take it. But it cant start you spinning, if you don’t hold on to it..

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